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My wife and I both must have some level of 'tism. After 20+ years of marriage we've figured out how to live harmoniously. But, in the beginning we constantly argued like how nerds ague about nerd hobbies (go to /v/ or /tg/ for examples). It required us both to learn how the world truely works for us to understand each other.
I don't have a solution for you single anons out there. My suggestion would be to direct a 'tism girlfriend into redpilling themself by pointing out (((patterns))) in an interest she has (vampire literature, reality TV being rigged, mobile games being skinner boxes, etc).
Also, females are generally more extroverted. MB categories aren't perfect but they can help make broad patterns visible. Female autists will categorize as ENTP usually.