how do I cope with the fact that Indonesia is literally the loser country? I'm an indo hapa and it irks me that there is literally nothing to be proud of with Indonesia. No notable inventions, people, or history, aside from being buck broken by the Dutch for centuries and only being rescued because the Japs took over before being told to fuck off by the USA. At the very least, if Indonesia put up a fight, that'd be respectable, but reading through the various wars and atrocities that happened to Indonesia it's just an absolute fucking slaughter for them. Worst of all southeast asians aren't even the smart or desired asians, at least if I were half Jap or Korean or Mongolian or some shit I could point to their rich culture and global impact to take pride in, but I have nothing.

I've been contemplating just marrying white just so I could clean up and have monoracial kids, but my genetic programming has me desiring Indonesian/Asian women more. I just don't know how to process all this. It's just so depressing being part of the loser, white worshipping country with no racial pride whatsoever, Indonesian women are all white worshipping whores for foreigners, and it's ironic that i say that because i literally directly benefit from it. In the west I'm a solid 5, I'm not a hopeless incel just an average guy, but in Indonesia I'm a solid 8, no joke. Everyone there, especially girls, treat me differently just because I'm tall (5'9 lol) and a Bule (foreigner) with an American voice. It just feels so weird being redpilled on the sexual racial dynamics that creates to many mutt hapas while also benefitting from it, it irks me that women in Indonesia like me so much purely for something outside my control, being half white. I don't like self hating people of any kind, and it just hits hard for me because these are my people too.

I'm only bothering posting this here because ironically I think that /pol/ would be the most understanding. thanks anons.