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when my dad died, i told myself to be strong at the funeral, don't cry or show emotion, you're now the man of the house. the only man, at seven. i held it in, but years later, it all came out. cry if you need to, don't hold the pain in. it never goes away, no matter how long it's been, but things do get better when you finally allow yourself to grieve because it means you can start the process of healing and moving on. don't know if any of this applies to you, but i hope you can find peace in your life afterwards, boymoder.
