>>2685719Sorry there's very little actual advice in here, OP. I know exactly how you feel.
>How do you deal with loneliness while being /out/?I don't go out when I know I'm going to feel lonely. I've done quite a bit of solo backpacking and car camping, and I've hated almost every single second of those experiences. They were almost all for work, and the only things that got me through were podcasts I'd listen to at night until I fell asleep.
I'm fine solo hiking during the day, though. I enjoy my alone time, especially when I have something active to do (e.g., botanizing, birding, photography). If you feel lonely and anxious even on short day trips, I'd suggest picking up some naturalist-oriented hobbies to keep your mind active. Try to identify the plants and animals you see, especially the often overlooked ones.
What you've learned about yourself is very important, though. Listen to that part of yourself. Don't do things that only make you miserable with no reward. There's no shame in that.
