SHTF Survival Guide: Tip #420 (Purifying water the natural way)
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Purifying water the natural way
"You still have that ass hair? Douche that river bank water into a bottle. Purifies the water from 99.95% of bacteria." -Survivalist
To filter water the natural way you must (1) find a water body or a stream, your grandmother's sink should work as well. (2) Remove your underwear and pants. (3) Proceed by gaping the rectum. Then dip your bottom into the water. (4) Allow the water to collect inside the colon. The colon acts as a natural water pouch. (5) Once the water has been collected, contract the rectum. (6) Find a water container for long-period water storage. Then proceed by removing the pants and gaping the rectum, allowing the water to "pee" out into the container.
This method will filter the water through the ass hair filter, purifying it 99.95% from bacteria!
And there you go, a natural method for filtering water!