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>be me, like eight years old or so
>live across the street from another girl my age
>we grew up together as kind-of-friends, not that close but we played together sometimes
>girl is clearly fucking retarded
>speech impediment and everything, can't even do basic addition at age eight
>kindergarten reading level too
>she won't admit that she can't read, though, so she pretends that she can
>anyways I had a metric fuckton of Pokemon cards and two or three decent decks at the time (I had no friends so I spent all my time on those fucking cards)
>invite girl over to play or whatever one day
>she sees my cards
>"anon you play Pokemon? let me go get my big brother's cards so we can play together!"
>she gets them and returns
>I set up, we begin
>she puts down a Charizard first thing
>she doesn't know how to play
>thisisgoingtobegood.jpg
>teach her the basics really quickly, add some shit that would tip the scales in my favor
>after two or three times, she gets it and puts down a motherfucking ENTEI
>I flip my shit, I fucking love Entei
>I want that card man
>my turn, put down a Chinchou, exact card is pic related
>"I attack with Positive Ion! It does 10 damage PLUS 10 damage for every coin flip I decide to do!"
>I flip the coin like ten fuckin times, totaling to like 100 damage or something
>girl can't read the card, so she can't call me on my bullshit
>Entei is kill
>"Haha! The rules of Pokemon say that I get to keep every Pokemon I defeat!"
>"Wut? Nuh-uh!"
>"Yeah read the rules!"
>she "reads" the rulebook I hand her
>"Oh okay anon, you can have it then"
>I scam her out of like ten cards this way, including the Charizard she put down the first time
>she never finds out that I was lying
>mfw I got to keep those cards and have the satisfaction of being a little shit
Yeah, I was a bit of an asshole back then. But to be fair, she stole my homework and turned it in as her own a couple times in middle school, so I guess we're even.
