Quoted By:
Have you ever felt embarrassed about your parasocial feelings? I'm starting to feel like that. I just feel it's so dumb to have such a strong crush on someone who is, for the most part, a total stranger. Just being so completely obsessed with and absorbed by someone that I can't stop thinking about them from the day starts to when it ends, finecombing all the decisions I take through the lens of someone else thoughts and if they would like me or not.
It's just... what have I been doing? It's like I've been living inside my own head all this time. I've felt so good just being in love with a stranger, but it's nothing more than a mirage. And yet I think those were some of the most beautiful things I've ever felt. Am I a fool for thinking such things are allowed in this world? Or am I a coward for conforming myself with so little?
I don't know anymore. I'd just like to apologize to my oshi now.
