>>67178559Thanks for the read! I'll gladly take the silver medal, but I gotta wonder what came in first?
>>67178738I think you're right about that, and there was more I could have done with it but I felt like I was going to possibly make it too long for a oneshot. Maybe the ways Coco was reacting which was meant to be a subtle buildup could have been more clear.
>>67185896Thanks.
>>67199012I can see what you're saying. In the back of my mind there was this notion that the buildup might need more meat to it, while also not being sure what is ideal for a short oneshot. Almost immediately after the final scene I toyed with the idea of an fast forward where you and Coco are visiting Miko at her shrine, and you end up helping fix the piping that helps supply the bath. Which of course leads to you slamming your dragon gf while a shocked miko hears her curse out from the hallway.
I definitely have some growing to do when it comes to writing shorter, self contained stories, so I really appreciate all the feedback.