>>75380914listening to a streamer talk about that sorta stuff
some context:
>was streaming regularly>got a new model>announced indefinite hiatus soon after>40 days later, she did one stream to catch her viewers up on recent life events, and to sing for her audience with her stunning voice>got emotional when the time to say goodbye came>still on indefinite hiatuswhat she had to say at the end of stream:
>i have to leave because streaming wasnt financially supporting me>it got the point that i am now in debt trying to pay stuff, like pay for my bills>because i kinda kept trying to...>*long pause*>i dunno, i kept trying to force streaming full time>it's really a hard thing to do fulltime, it's really really hard>i had built up really good savings before i became full time because i used to make a lot of money >and i was living off that money really slowly>what i would make every month from streaming would kind of support me so it was not a complete decline financially in my bank account[...]
>but now with my new job i need to focus on that>because obviously i can't stream if im homeless>if i come back, i dont know when, i can't give anyone any timeline or anything like that>cause really i don't know what's gonna happen so...>i will try to pop in when i can>it was easier to do this today because i am not working yet, i will be starting next week>i have a lot of anxiety as you guys know >full time, dealing with people all day... i dont want to come on stream and be boring and brain melted, not even able to speak words>i already have trouble speaking words with you guys>maybe someday i can come back, maybe not fulltime but just kinda stream consistently>like i said i don't want to make any promises because i have no idea what the future looks like for me>i've been going outside a lot, touching grass, hiking>now i will be working and hopefully make some new friends>my new job, honestly, i feel so lucky to have it, the people there seem so cool[...]
>i dont think i could ever fully quit streaming>i can give you guys that much: i could never quit streaming completely>because... i just think that it's ... *sigh*>im not gonna cry... i didnt think i was gonna cry today>i just feel like you guys... i tell you this all the time... you're like a family to me>even though i am the oldest in my family it always kinda felt nice to be sort of like... a little sister to you guys in a way, if that makes sense>like, im kind of a little shithead and it's just...>i know i have been reconnecting with my family in recent years but i've had you guys in my life before that and you guys were really just kind of my family and so...>the one promise i can give is that i will be back someday cause i dont think i could ever actually leave you guys cause i love you too much which is why im here today>i think about you guys all the time and i always miss streaming, i always think oh i can probably sneak in a little stream in today...>but i dont wanna overwhelm myself and then like, put off other things that i've been doing to better myself cause if i start streaming, will that stop me from going to the gym? is it gonna stop me from hiking? is it gonna stop me from laying in the sun? i dont know...>im really attached to you guys and it's really hard to not be here all the time... >i just want to stream and play elden ring all day... life is unfair, just let me play elden ring all day! that's all i want...>im just so happy that so many of you came today even though i've been gone...>cause i always tell you guys that im scared you're gonna forget me... i know sometimes it inevitable but i dont think i can ever forget you guys>didnt think i was gonna cry today but i guess i should have seen it coming when i had to say goodbye...>i just hope that you guys always know that i love you so much and you really are family to me >i always have a special stream that i always think of... i remember when i got really close to doing something really bad to myself... and everyone was telling me, just stream, just come hangout with us, you don't have to talk or say anything, just come hang out with us... that's when i played that weird farming game... i dont even know what it's called but i think so fondly of this stream because everyone was being so nice to me... and i feel every time i stream when im in a bad mood, you guys always find a way to make me laugh in the end, no matter what...>i just want you guys to know that i love you so much...>you'll always be my family forever...>forever, no matter what...>alright...>i dont think im gonna raid anybody because i dont want people to think i'm back... >let me stop prolonging this...>i hate not being able to say i'll see you tomorrow...>okay... okay im gonna go... >i love you guys so much...>i'll see you when i see you...>just please dont forget about me...>goodbye... please take care of yourselves...>i'll see you around... bye b->*stream ends* 