i used to have a good life until covid happened, things went really wrong then the shitty life i had was filled with vtubers and GFE

Now i am unable to sleep without listening to a chuuba ASMR, makes me feel warm inside
is fake love, pre recorded, but at least fake is better than not having love at all
i though i had good friendships but now all i have are vtubers and my earphones to fall asleep and dream with them

I just want to sleep anons, i just want to sleep and go visit the world where my oshi is real and i can hold her hand, i can rest my head on their lap and guard down.

I just want to guard down anons, i just want to feel something else besides despair and fear i just want to close my eyes and feel my oshi's soft hands on my ears

am i hopeless?