1/2
>>7049615>>7055280You,my anonymous friend, remind me of the person I once was, when I was in a similar state/situation myself. I had times where I just wanted to be another person - I really didn't want to be myself anymore. I just wanted to be somebody else and suicidal phantasies weren't uncommon even though I never considered to actually do an hero. I just wanted my worries to end, I wanted to be in a world where I feel the liberation of this heavy and empty feeling in my chest, in a world where I am finally and completely free. That's what I was dreaming of and I realized that it wasn't actually death what I looked for - It was inner peace and the thought of death was connected with the idea of truly felt peace. From then on I tried to sever these two terms from each other and wanted to look for the thing I longed for so much.
I realized I had a lot of inner demons from the past and I haven't even conciously realized some of these as such; I actually had to find them first.
Now I am a person who has the feeling to have accomplished a long, long inner fight and now finally feels the relief he has longed for all the time. After all this time, I am at ease, anon, and I wish YOU to feel the same.
Therefor I want to try to give you an advice: Try to find out what your inner demons are. Try to find out where, when and how they have been born. Then you gonna try to confront them. Afterwards you gotta tell your story who- or whatever you know you can trust, may it be family, friends or a plain sheet of paper - In my case all of these together were the ones I told my story. Every time I finished having a proper conversation about the things which were brooding in my chest I felt a stage victory - So it's about having as much of these as you need, anon, until, one day and before you know it, you will hopefully have thoughts about which problems to brood about even remain. And that, dear anon, is the day I wholeheartedly wish you to see.
