>>5969913I feel sth similar, i'm 5 years younger than you.Fortunately for me I don't have depression but I do feel like my constant optimism is killing me.
It's hard to explain but I am the man who hates losing, hates giving up and those traits along with my optimism makes me carry on living, but I do feel like giving up would be so much easier.
Losing the way I am would make me temporarily content with my insignificant life.