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i've been in love with my closest friend for over 5 years, and obviously, the feelings dont go both ways
i used to be able to hold it down and keep the friendship going, but recently i've gotten worse and worse, and became an unbelievably hateful person because of it and all the other shit in my life
its gotten to the point where we barely talk anymore, and i think he's become so tired of my antics that he's given up on me
obviously, the smart decision would be to leave the friendship, move on, and try and get better but outside of me being in love with him he is fundamentally such a good person that i dont want to let go of him
i just dont know how to go onwards from here, i guess
