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She hasn't given you attention for over a week so you're lashing out because of that. She has flaws but you're way worse. Who in the right mind says "I'll leave her alone if only she proves I don't lover her"? No shit everyone already knows you really don't love her. You don't tell someone to kill themselves, get giddy at her pets dying, and then say, in your very own words, "I was lucid at the time and said that to make her hurt as much as possible". Literal subhuman garbage behavior.