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I found out that one of my great grandmothers on my mother's side was a nigger. I don't know much about the family of my grandmother on my father's side, but her father might be the reason why my father is so swarthy for a white person. I feel like an inferior. I can't have children because of my mixed condition. Besides, I'm not blonde, white, and blue-eyed, I'm dark-haired, olive-skinned, and black-eyed. I should kill myself.