>>12549165its called indra's net, and mastery of it can give you slight superpowers, like being able to choose a lifeline where you are not ill, or where you do have a good looking wife, stuff like that. It is not evil nor good, your soul is of the same quality as god, but not as the same quantity.
You can choose everything you want, including suffering, torment and pain as you already are doing right now.
All of your beliefs are correct and fit nicely within this net. Toil all you want in this life. I'll stick with krishna.
