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You'll be free once you realize that you're dead one way or the other and living your life in any way that you do not personally and organically determine isn't worth the bother
death is preferable
oh look at that i just slipped out of my obscenely comfy bed to go and draw furry porn for people, not a lick of duress or pressure behind it, I just love to do it and it's what I do
find your ikigai losers