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I'm the laziest fuck imaginable. I have dreams to better myself as an artist, to maybe one day even make a living off of it to escape wageslaving, but have no drive to pick up the pen and produce these days. I scroll 4chan, or look for art made by others, or look at nonsense on youtube. Now and then I'll have a great idea to draw, write it in a notepad, then never draw it and the ideas pile up. I sleep when I like and get up when I like. The time of day generally doesn't matter. Eventually, despair lead to indifference, I didn't care anymore and I gave up my dream.
I want to change so bad, but I realized recently that the only way it'll happen is via some kind of habit conditioned into me. You can't just change your ways overnight, it takes time. I figured if I could be loyal to at least one thing, just one thing, then I could be loyal to two, then three. I'm starting by going to bed at a certain time and waking at a certain time, then not breaking that routine no matter what.
So far, it seems to be working. My inner clock is fixed and now I wake up before the alarm clock even goes off. I'm hoping tomorrow I can add another routine, like doing some warm-up sketches, with a certain start and end time. Hopefully it works, I can't stand being a slug anymore.
