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dad left when I was 5, saw him every now and then. raised by a single mom, no paternal figure, bullied at school because of this. left with chronic minor depressions which I've managed to hide behind increasing cynisism and sociopathic tendencies to make it through college.
I don't feel anything except sadness anymore, I'm just faking half the emotional spectrum in order to interact with people.
sometimes I think I'll join the army, that way if I die my parents will be less sad than if I hanged myself.
