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I've come to appreciatte the fact that I could exchange my previous "forest dumping sites" (the oh so called "female friends" that showed no affection for me but were kind enough to listen through my bullshit until I calmed down) for this entity of a board that sometimes shows genuine interest in what trouble I got myself now into
despite being of the less beloved and borderline infamous "discord nigger" threads I'd say that my daily admission is minimal in comparrison to other posters with caveat that I try to spyce things up every once in a while rather than making 1995884247th kot ID, cirno as a nigger cirno as a nogger, marissa eating sketti threads etc etc etc
in the end it made me realise that I don't need drugs, the drugs need me
for what are drigs but solutions to the problems, if I can solve them anyhow I may not even feel an urge to even fancy about drugs I quit them many times over and I'm under suspicion I'll quit them again and again- emerging as a junkie everytime when the problems get undissolable, or rather unfixable by my own hand, thus there is no other way to cope with the eternal dread other than escapism itself
how pitiful yet also enlightening at the same time
I should go to bed soon
