>>22743511Go see your doctor. there are things to help.
Then go to AA. The only way to do it is to have help from others who struggle with your issues.
It's tough, but you can do it.
M Scott Peck wrote about addiction as the 'sacred disease'. You should get one of his books that discusses it. It's helped many people I know.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/addiction-the-sacred-disease_b_4756106t. ex bartender who's seen it all.