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Here's the secret for curing depression. Follow this regiment for one (1) week and you will get noticeable results. You will probably fuck it up afterward and wallow in misery again for a while, but you'll come back to it eventually, and get better at it every time.
For ONE WEEK
>wake up at a semi-regular time
>drink water when you wake up
>exercise (doesn't have to be hardcore, just some pushups and squats is way better than nothing)
>DON'T masturbate
>DON'T DRINK
One week of this and you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.