>>16023441regardless, most people in your position would be too scared to even admit they may have messed up, and then never be able to repent for it.
you still have your life now, and these matters concern things beyond this lifetime, and so you are hugely blessed in that regard - it would be a total (2nd) death sentence to 99% of everyone else in your situation. you can still effect the thing that truly matters, which is reconciliation with God - the thing of highest value in this world
you can ask God to help you repent even, if you think you might be missing something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PP9ZUKVy9_8 