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I just really wonder with people like Depp for example, how they did it. Like his band opened for the freaking Ramones and talking heads when they were still teenagers. That’s a pretty big deal.
I wonder if Depp is more privileged than me kind of, or what specifically went into his success. Like I first got a guitar at 16, I also tried acting in plays before then, but nothing worked out. It just reminds me of going to Mexico when I was like 14 or newly 15 for the first time it felt so freeing to be there for some reason where as back home I didn’t realize it then but everything was kind of uptight. I didn’t have any rules really or parental supervision I guess though.
Basically I was just a giant mess for most of my teen years. I wasn’t really given much of a solution at all, I didn’t want to have all these issues but I couldn’t even begin to fathom solving them. I developed social anxiety at some point it was really bad I was literally afraid of people, I had absolutely no social skills, like no social skills like what so ever.
It was like I was born and raised in the wilderness. The thing that always bothered me is that hardly anyone was really understanding of this fact which just made feel way more alienated.
I couldn’t concentrate on anything hardly, it was like I had ADHD and I was just really sad all the time and I didn’t enjoy anything I had like anhedonia
I also had a really bad sleeping disorder, I couldn’t maintain a normal sleep schedule, it always felt like I had sleep apnea or something but I wasn’t fat.
Many years later when I travelled to the states my sleeping disorder completely went away and it wasn’t psychological.
But the sleeping disorder was so bad it basically made it so I couldn’t finish school, I couldn’t hold down a job nothing hardly I couldn’t make appointments with friends.
It’s just really fucked up I don’t have that problem in America like wtf
