>>17127454With the dead Santa theory, it's possible that he never existed in the first place. After all, the idea of a fat person sliding through chimneys is a bit hard to believe. But people who are trained from birth to sneak around buildings and plant stuff certainly could do it. The most likely case is "Santa" being some slim-built guy in a dark-camouflaged stealth suit, possibly helped by a cloaking device made by the elves.
If there were an actual Santa still, them he'd be behind a desk in his cushy office, doing the real hard work of judging Timmy while everybody else hauls the heavy load. Just that he uses himself as a mascot for children to look up to, cause it's more friendly than the guy in the stealth suit.
Anyway, just got off class early cause of another earthquake. The chicken place better be open.
