>>1985779I take opiates, which means that my farts build up to a greater extent than most people. Yesterday, while my girlfriend was still sleeping, I woke up, stripped naked, and headed toward the shower. But on my way, I felt the need to fart - one of those deep, hot, silent farts was on its way.
At exactly the moment of fart existence realization, I saw my girlfriend's American shorthair cat sitting in her computer chair, exactly at ass-level. I could not resist the urge. I walked over, turned around, spread my ass checks, and guided my anus to right before her nose.
The outpour of noxious heat was like a direct jetstream into the nose of Doraemon (the cat's name). After exhausting my anal cavity, I turned around to see her head in exactly the same position - she hadn't even flinched. The only palpable difference was that her eyes had welled up with tears.
I've woken up my girlfriend with this exact same fart to the face, yet to a totally awake, present, mindful feline, my signature opium fart was nothing more than a gust of air.
Can an evolutionary biologists out there explain?