You were forgiven the instant you Believed on Him, which sounds like some time in the PAST, based on your post. If you "keep messing up", God may reward you accordingly, in this life. But if you obey Him, and do the things He has asked of you, He will give you Blessings, in this life and beyond.
(((Steven Anderson))) is one of many heretics that misuse Romans chapter 10 to preach a False Gospel. However, unlike the others, this Ashkenazi Jewish Pastor attacks other Christians who teach Romans 10 correctly.
https://youtu.be/0w2yPYRzeUc 