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The other day, I was pondering what it must be like to live in countries that don’t speak English. I put myself into the mindset of it all, sat down quietly, closed my eyes, and went deep into mental meditation. I truly tried to understand. Instantly I started to feel... unnatural. I felt so utterly insignificant. Like nothing I did really mattered whatsoever in any sort of way. Instead of just a random human, nothing to brag about but a human none the less, it was like I was actually... nobody. It was like I was an ant. Meaningless. Weak. Irrelevant. A tool. Crawling and scurrying around in a world where somewhere far away, in the same reality, actual superior beings existed. I was a German. I was an African. I was Asian... I was the World. Babbling in tongues and feeling so empty. The thought was terrifying. In my concentration I'd went into a trance. I Screamed! I Screamed, in my mind and out loud! I screamed in the only way that truly felt like it would make me more than this horrifying, terrible, paralyzingly weak and useless creature I had dreamed up.
I screamed... in English. Instantly I was shaken back to reality. I had developed a cold sweat. After a few deep breaths, I swore I would never repeat that. I never want to feel that way again.