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There were fireworks that woke me up last night at midnight and i kept screaming and hitting myself in the head and called 911 and said i just wanted to talk but shaneeq'ua kept asking my name and address and clacking away in her keyboard loudly and annoying me and i didnt want anyone to show up so i said never mind and hung up and then an hour later after i finally fell asleep again 2 small female cops pounding on my door and i could have easily clobbered both in hand to hand combat if needed and they asked me if i wanted to hurt myself or others and i said no and she said sorry for waking me up again and i was going to adk if she could hold my hand because it would make me feel better but if she said no i would feel like a disgusting unwanted freak and then i went back to bed and i was head throbbing overly sedated on clonidine ativan lyrica melatonin and hydroxizine and still not helping i wish i had someone to give me a hug and its going to be like this for the next 2 weeks