>>12638376Judging from everything you've said so far, it seems like you do want to be able to have follow a religion, and be able to make friends, but you don't really think that the religion you grew up with might be the right one for you, or that maybe people from your ethnic group might not be the best people for you to try to make friends with, but you should try to at least consider the option of there being other religions and ways of thinking you could look into for sources of inspiration, and that you could try making friends with people who might not necessarily be from the same ethnic group as you, but that could have similar interests* to you, or that could be easy to talk to, not too stressing to hang around with, and that are generally good company.
* "Similar" doesn't mean "exactly the same". People who have exactly the same interests at you who only talk to people of their own kind might usually be the ones who are more likely to be extremely averse to talking about anything else, and will fuss about very small issues more than they could praise others' general similarities with them.
People with broad interests who might not exactly coincide with everything on you, who are open to having diverse groups of chatting partners are more likely to accept odd people, or people with unusual tastes.