Quoted By:
How to become American:
1. Remove any inhibition in your mind
2. Embrace basal hedonism
3. Lobotomize yourself to remove any worldly knowledge or open-mindedness
4. Indoctrinate yourself into blind belief in an outdated frontier ideology
5. Eat nothing but corn syrup, fluoridated water and microplastics until you are 150 kilogra-- sorry, 300 lbs
6. Sniff lead paint to make yourself twice as aggressive as any regular human
7. Isolate yourself in a suburban environment far away from other people
8. Consume consume consume consume consume consume
9. Construct your personality out of consumption choices
10. Invade and destroy any people who might challenge you or your self-destructive and pig-like lifestyle
Do all that, and the green card will be in the mail
