>>3080373chief space janitor reporting this week's activities:
-on first day of space week at 0950 space hours, called to space loo. overflowing shit in space toilets coupled with loss of vacuum flush coated entire space loo with fine layer of shit. corn was noted.
-on third day of space week at 1215 space hours, piss tanks ruptured in space janitor lunch room. recommend moving deurinators to another area of the ship.
-on fourth day of space week space mops were found to be all broken in half. Storage room proximity to space high school is thought to be a contributing factor. Space janitorial staff has since been using the broken 2.5 long space mops to clean ship in the mean time. recommend phasing out 1837 A.D. mop design of wood and looped yarn with new laser and plasma versions developed 50 years ago. Although management determined the 0.05 space credit cost differential was non-viable at last staff meeting we feel the advantage of not having to manually wring out shit and piss in the 0-g environment and resulting contamination of our staff would be worth the increased efficiency cost as well as giving the rest of the crew more incentive to actually interact with us instead of habitually avoiding all interactions.
