>>10281847I just...I can't understand. Why? Why do they do this? Why me? I'm not a bad person to be with. If anything I'm too nice. I let them walk all over me, do whatever they want me to and always give my all. How can someone say that they'll be there forever, they'll never leave and then just....just quit. What did I do?! HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU JUST QUIT ON ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT! YOU TALKED SO MUCH SHIT NOW I SEE YOU WERE JUST A LYING SLUT THAT JUST WANTS TO BE A GHOST TO ME. He haunts my mind every day. Fuck even right now I half suspect you're him trying to fuck with me like I know he does. Can't they just say it to my face? Tell me "Normie I'm done go away". I spent time in Afghanistan I'M STRONG I CAN TAKE IT. Spending time in the dark. Rambling to myself alone. Having conversations with people I've never met seems to be what has gotten me this far but now it's just painful. I get it people change and move on but god damn it a dear john note at the very least! I DESERVE THAT MUCH. I DESERVE AN EXPLANATION. It's fucked up to just discard someone without letting them know that you don't want anything to do with them. I get it I did that to you but why would you do it to me? You got so mad at me for doing that to you. Is this your revenge? Are you ever goign to acknowledge how I feel or are you just going to let me sit her eand suffer?
I can't let my mind rest because of you. I have to shit post or lurk or work or something so I can't let you sink in. You're part of me. You've been that the whole time. I've loved you like no one else and you know damn well what I had to do to my last gay lover that scarred me for life. I thought I'd never love another person like that again until I met you. Now I have to try to go on without you? Just like I did him all those years ago.....I want to die. I want to join my love. I want to be free from all this pain. It's not just one event it's not just him he just unraveled all the shit he helped me keep at bay. Now I'm broken.
