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You have to seek motivation from with in anon. A time will come where you may be needed by people who care about you. You have to care for yourself first in order to accomplish anything.
YOU HAVE ALL THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD AT YOUR FINGERTIPS ANON! It is up to what you do with that knowledge. Learn a trade, get active in your community. Form contacts regardless of how antisocial you are. Im 24 and only now realizing my potential. I may be waging away but for every shitty person I deal with I am able to bring light into more. Become recognizable by people for the good deeds you do and NOT with what you say. That only comes after you built a foundation to stand on. Youre still young too but dont give up on yourself yet. Form better habits.
There WILL be no place for ANYONE who chooses to remain weak and not endure their life as we ALL must. Good luck anon, if we ever meet, id hope to see you among the ranks of so many others who will fight for our better future.
Now get the fuck off my damn board and fix yourself!