>>8304797J E S U S:
Christian mythology revolves around a Gary Stu by the name of Jesus. Jesus was a Jewish carpenter who was born from a 16-year-old girl, who got knocked up after she was encountered by an angel. After failing in his first job as a carpenter, Jesus became a magician, developed a huge fetish for BDSM, and became an hero for your sins.
As if this isn't ridiculous enough, Christians also believe that you must pray every day to his undead corpse to remove the evil from your soul that was put there by an all-loving God because a rib-woman ate an apple offered to her by a talking snake who was actually Satan.
Christians will only argue about Christianity if you agree to four preconditions:
All information in the Bible is true, except when it's in metaphors.
Jesus eats your sins so that you can go to Skyland.
There is one God and He is real (and male). No exceptions.
...therefore, Christianity is the one and only Truth. QED.
and remember, there is also a list of guidelines to attacking the book of Revelation:
If any strange occurrence listed in that book happened in any order remotely close to that written in Revelation, Jesus! The prophecy is being fulfilled, REJOICE!
If you are arguing that an occurrence directly contradicted this book of divine vision, you must be reading it out of context.
If you can prove that you're speaking in the proper context, and Revelation is still being contradicted, it must be in GOD'S CONTEXT.
If the point is made multiple times outside of the context it is written in for that particular phrase, it must be a parable.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO QUESTION GOD'S WORD ANYWAY. All questions will be answered when the Hale-Bopp comet arrives, and takes us to the level above human. Adventist are the ultimate Jew-Christians and should be ass-raped.
Disclaimer: Most Christians probably couldn't read that anyway.
