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Maybe I can make you feel better:
>32
>Unemployed 75% of adult life
>broke
>No gf in past two years
>Inventor with high IQ
>Cannot afford patents for my ideas
>Never went to college because I can't afford it
>Lost three jobs in the last year, two of which were because the employers were stiffing all new employees and hoping they wouldn't notice
>I have given away billions, arguably trillions of dollars of ideas and never received any payment for my contributions
>I have two illegitimate children whose mother was so crazy she pretended she wasn't pregnant, hid the pregnancy, and gave the children away
>I have been turned down for second dates because I didn't go to college despite a laundry list of inventions (the topic of my inventions do not come up on dates)
>Parents were horrible and one is dead and the other will be dead within the next year or so of old age; I have no other family
>I can handle being homeless, but I can't handle being homeless and jobless at the same time or the idea of not being able to continue to share my ideas. The sad thing is that I know the world would be missing out on an asset if it ever lost me, although I am not a narcissist by any means. I did not even realize my full potential as an inventor until starting about 2 years ago.
At this point, the being alone thing has stopped bothering me so much and the potentially freezing to death in my car at night part and worries about who will carry on my media collection when I'm gone bother me more. Strange combination of things to worry about, I know, but I think I am one of the few people who actually know what is important. Legacy is important. Your children, your ideas, and perhaps your favorite things would be examples of that and that is my concern. I am very motivated by a desire to be able to tell my adult children one day why they exist, and it's quite a story.
My advice is to try to find small things that give you hope and remind yourself that there is always hope.