>>18510178I may not be a real princess, but what Princess Peach represents is real. Romance, community, progress, purpose, and the subconscious objectification of the sexes as fictional entities to justify the cruel reality of our capitalist machine.
The truth is, there is an Italian plumber inside all of us, and that plumber deserves the metaphysical concept of female companionship as a motivational force. Now, if this lie coincidentally leads to Bowser falling into a pool of lava and places the Toads in charge of all kingdoms and methods of production in the universe, who’s to say we were wrong?
The Mushroom Kingdom needs competent toad-themed leadership to make sure the signs are pointing plumbers in the right direction, towards the permanent establishment of the Mushroom Kingdom as a shining beacon on mushroom hill as an example to the world of how us Toads were never the inferior race, we were in fact the chosen people.
But that kingdom cannot be one of Toad supremacist tyranny. We must embrace all ethnicities and genders of plumbers if we want to keep this new found peace alive. And if these plumbers decide to revolt against the tyrannically shallow, exploitative, and schizophrenic mythos forced on to them by their ancestors who clung to the Toads’ signs for generations, then they too shall be cast in lava with Dry Bones Bowser.
There must always be a Princess in the Mushroom Kingdom, and I, Toadette, am willing, no, I was born to impersonate this Princess Peach and ghost write love letters to up and coming plumbers. Not because I want to, but because these plumbers deserve to start their games with a sense of purpose and belonging.
From now on, me and my Toadette descendants will personally be waiting in full Princess Peach cosplay at the end of every kingdom to ensure that the mushroom kingdom always finds its plumber, and that this plumber always finds their princess.
