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We can solve this with the free market and technology.
I need your ideas, /int/! I have two so far.
1) an uber of hobos, where you call a hobo to harass people you don't like.
2)a pokemon go of hobos. You find a wild hobo and "capture" it (the collar will give him eletric shocks if he does not obey you), and then you can take your pokehobo to fight other pokehobos in the middle of street. This would be suscription-based.