>>9942493I recently felt the same and went to Thailand to kill myself through a pill overdose. I planned it so that I'd go missing on a hike so that it would be an accident instead of a suicide, they wouldn't find my body for days. My friend found my instructions on where I was going and basically deciphered the plan so it all fell through.
It does get better though. Can confidently say that after admitting that I was fucked and needed help, everything has become a lot better. Just hang in there and tell someone you care about that you're not doing well. Failing that, talk to a doctor and use the "s" word and you'll get some high class treatment. You're gonna be fine.