Quoted By:
>be american
>wake up in the morning
>tip bed for not breaking
>use crane to get off my bed
>tip the crane for not breaking
>get on my scooter
>tip it for not breaking
>ride down stairs and hit the wall
>tip stairs and wall for not breaking
>go into the kitchen
>open fridge
>tip it for opening
>get my McDonald's leftovers out of the fridge
>tip them for not being spoiled
>heat them up in the microwave
>tip microwave
>open cupboard
>tip it for not breaking
>get my XXL Diet Coke out because "muh health"
>open it and take a drink
>tip it for being delicious
>take a bite out of my leftovers
>tip them too for being delicious
>start clapping
>while im eating and clapping,Tyrone busts my door open and goes into my room and robs my PC with my Loli hentai stash on it,my gun collection,my Doritos bags and my fedora collection
>tip Tyrone because "muh diversity"
>he shoots me
>i crawl back to my leftovers to finish them
>as im eating,i pass out
>wake up in hospital
>"sir,you hospital bill is over 9000 dollars + 999% tip"
>dont have money because Tyrone robbed me
>doctor shoots me
>tip him anyways
>as im dying,an antifa protester shows up with a feminist roastie and shoots me for being white cis-male scum
>tip them for doing a good job for 'Murica
>take one last drink out of my Coke and die
>shit pants
>get my body thrown out on the streets
>cause earthquake
>earthquake breaks USA in pieces
>USA drowns,leaving Mexico and Canada as the only countries of North America
>americans start clapping underwater as they are slowly dying
