>>18707104So, my whole existence has just been an elaborate narrative scheme to concoct the perfect metaphysical experience that simulates a second chance at life in a metaphysical kingdom in the pursuit of a princess that may or may not be a Toadette in a Princess Peach costume. Yknow, Toads, I think I’m tired of being the silent protagonist. This whole being sacrificed to feed my soul to a metaphysical mushroom powerplant as the new spiritual mascot of Toad Capitalism to keep Donkey Kong’s new Mushroom Kingdom from collapsing thing…. Has really got me thinking, maybe there are other video games, perhaps one where I don’t have to die. I think I’d like to be a blue hedgehog that runs faster than the speed of sound so I could finally run fast enough to escape this plot.
Wait, Toads….. what are you doing Toads, no!!!!! I don’t wanna die!
AND SO…. ON THIS DAY, MARIO FINALLY DIED FOR THE SINS OF ALL PLUMBER-KIND, LOOKING AND SOUNDING LIKE CHRIS PRATT THE ENTIRE TIME. MAY WE ALL REMEMBER HOW COOL HE TRULY LOOKED AND SOUNDED AS HE DIED GRANTING US THE PERFECT 1-UP MUSHROOM FOR THE ETERNAL MUSHROOM KINGDOM, EVEN IF IT WASN’T CONSENTUAL OR VOLUNTARY, AND MARIO ONLY DIED DUE TO YOSHI’S FAILURE TO PROPERLY PREPARE A NEW WARP PATH TO THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM.
IT LOOKS LIKE SOME SHOES ONLY MARIO CAN TRULY FILL.
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