>>19905590>>19906054Shit niggers how can I not join this discussion
>mom divorced dad when I was around four years old>took my sister and I to various houses trying to start over>forced to act 'good' for her failed romances with boyfriends over the years>my dad tried rekindling the relationship with my mom for most of my life, literally for like 10 years he tried getting her back>stay at home by myself most of my life because my parents had to work during housing crisis and sister went to college>developed devastating depression and anxiety that ravaged most of my youth and 'fun' years>video games and Youtube are the only things I did to cope>developed weed smoking habit at 19>relationships are extremely difficult for me to establish, luckily managed to make a few close friends but it still just feels like no joy>cannot get over the past, still mull over shit that happened over 10 years ago>turned into a creepy guy, stalked girls in high school and college>worked a series of dead end jobs and never feel like I've found my 'path' in life>feels like I'm going to grow to age 40 and still be thinking of the same shit I've been going over again and again for my entire life>lie to my parents about my situation constantly, having to constantly force my happiness and act like everything is fine>every day I wish there was a 'quit game' button that I could press to just stop this absurd existenceI keep telling myself other people have it much worse and I should be thankful for what I have, but it just feels like I'm constantly trying to gaslight myself into thinking I had better times than I actually did
