>>7339606Anon, I'm not gonna tell you not to kill yourself because I know life can deal shit cards and ultimately everyone's live is their own and belongs to nobody else. I'm not suicidal myself, nor have I ever been to any noteworthy extent, but I know I'm just an unfortunate series of events away from being so. Life hurts, and it only takes so much pushing before ending it seems like a valid option. I get it.
Let me tell you something though, my older brother killed himself when he was 21, I was 7 at the time. Mum told me he fell off a dam. I remember being bullied by kids because I told them that and they made fun of the fact that my brother killed himself. I saw all the pain his suicide caused myself, my mother, and my family. Throughout my teenage years I resented my brother, thinking he was incredibly selfish for doing what he did. It gave me issues, I was always searching for someone to fill the older brother shaped void in my heart. I idealized friends and older role models. I became attracted to boys who were taller and a bit older than me, with features that subconsciously remind me of him. His suicide played a large role in making me into the person I am today, for better or worse. Of course I forgive him now, but I guess all I'm saying is please don't think this is just between you and your ex. If you really want to do it then do it, as I said, it's your life. Just understand that it will have a long lasting impact that you will never perceive. If you think there's even the slightest chance of a recovery, I'd advise seeking help.
Just my two cents.
