>>11157199Trying to cope with the fact that the girl I love and grew up with threw her life away by becoming an childless/immature/insane/leftist/buddhist/wiccan/new-age activist regardless of having been given every opportunity to not turn out that way. I spent a whole decade (age 13-23) hoping she’d break through the bullshit so we could just make a family together like everyone around us, her parents, and myself thought we should, but it’s just too late. I know she’s not going to find anyone better than me, which I take no pride in saying, because I don’t want her to live the miserable life she choose. I forever love her , and I know she loves me too, but she’s retarded and wants to hurt herself like she always has. She also had the potential to be a 10/10 looks-wise, a 130+ IQ, and an identical sense of humor to me, which is a combination in a woman that I’m probably not going to find again.
Girls like me. I want to find a wife, but I don’t want her to be my ‘second choice.’ That’s not fair to her. I’m trying to learn how to open my heart and love even more, but it’s hard.
Also, my motivation has been completely sapped. I have no motivation to finish my work projects regardless of how much money they’re worth. I guess I need to visualize a future for myself, but the economic and political environment in conjunction with everything being closed just makes me want to sit and wait for a collapse. Fuck, I need to get up.
