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There was this girl, I really loved her, but we don't see each other for like 2 years, I don't follow her in social media or have any type of contact with her today, but I still think about her every time I'm bored, basically every day. I keep re-watching my memories in my mind, imagining different outcomes. I feel like killing myself everytime I realize that good times are never coming back, my routine is terrifying, I'm a slave of an existence with no goal. It's like I'm stuck in a terrible game which I lose and repeat over and over.