>>11075039You need to create your own meaning
After landing a good job and paying off my student loans, I found I had way too much free time and disposable income. Decided I needed more adventure in my life and started learning languages (дa я нa 100% cepьeзнo я нayчилcя гoвopить пo-pyccки paди пpикoлa) and dove into it with all the energy I used to devote to more traditional pursuits (girls, work, etc.) 4-5 hours a day of devoted study, literally because it just seemed like something that would shake things up.
That opened doors for me I had never dreamed of - I had the income and flexibility at work to travel abroad whenever I wanted. I made a ton of Russian friends, go hang out with them annually, and met my now wife over there. Moreover being an American that speaks Russian makes you an instant novelty and suddenly I was the most popular person in the room wherever I went, and forcing myself out of my comfort zone by speaking a foreign language (and risking looking stupid) made me way more outgoing. In short it changed my entire outlook on things. Your nihilism clearly isn't preventing you from engaging in self-improvement, find yourself a big project, some monster to conquer, and do it. You'll feel 10 feet tall and it spurs you on to newer projects and gives you a larger-than-life personality. That's my go-to these days when nihilism rears its head and every time it has improved my life immeasurably
