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Leaf anon, I don't know your individual situtation or personal pain. But I too have pondered suicide. Not that long ago I wished I would die.
Thing was there were two things that kept me going, even if I saw no point to it.
>It would devstate my parents and friends
>I truly had nothing left to lose, things couldnt get much worse no matter what I did
The last one takes a bit to sink in but is far more powerful. If you are truly to the point of wanting to kill yourself, then you really shouldn't.
Because at that point, you are truly free.
I can't tell you for sure things will get better. I can tell you that it is worth it to keep rolling the dice.