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DUDE MY FUCKING RANCH IS INFESTED WITH SMALL GREY ALIENS, I FUCKING KILLED ONE OF THEM WITH A REVOLVER AND ITS CORPSE DISSAPEARED INTO 3RD DENSITY AND SHIT
UNCLE SAM G MEN PATROL MY PROPERTY AND HAVE WARNED ME NOT TO GO PUBLIC BUT GOSH DARN IT I JUST GOTTA TELL THE WORLD
PSYCHIC DISCOVERIES BEHIND THE IRON CURTAIN - HOW GERMAN MIND CONTROL ROCKET SCIENTISTS TRICKED STALIN INTO MEDITATING WITH MANTIDS AND ALLOWING THEM TO TAKE OVER THE SOVIET ADMINISTRATION
BY HECK, MY NAMES PHIL JEEPERSON AND I HAVE BEEN ABDUCTED BY GREY ALIENS AT LEAST 4 TIMES A YEAR SINCE I WAS 3 YEARS OLD, THEY HAVE SHOWN ME THEIR HOME PLANET AND LET ME STEER THE SPACESHIP AND SHIT, THEY WISH TO BRING HUMANS INTO 5TH DENSITY AND SHIT
JUMPROOMS
RANCHES
GREYS
SOVIETS
FASTER THAN LIGHT TRAVEL
HOMOSEXUALITY