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He needs to hire a PI and see what she's actually up to. This is extremely suspicious.
A wife who outright refuses to perform her duties in marriage (i.e. Biblical duty to not deprive one another) this is borderline grounds for guilt-free divorce. I feel for this guy and am glad that I don't have to deal with something like this.
Also, as a matter of principal, you should NEVER have to jack off if married. Completely unacceptable.