>>12126165I'm not that anon but, ofc nothing I'll say here will change your kind instantly but maybe it will be a seed which will sprout in due time.
This will come off as bollox and you may get angry at this "advice" which is fair enough. Tbh idk why I'm even bothering but first of all what ever you do, do not let yourself drown I your own regret and anger. Use those things (((somehow))) to your advantage. You mad? Lift. You sad? Use it to get mad -> lift. Etc idk ita a personal thing.
Second this will sound like hippy shit but there is much science behind it. You can get addicted to negative thoughts as they give you a lovely cocktail neurotransmitters. I know it's hard I've been in a similar situation to yours ( I doubt it's the same and mostlikely you have it worse ) but you MUST not get into the cycle of negative thoughts; thoughts that eat away your mind. Each thought, each anything in your head is like a building block. You just add to it or think of it each thought is like a shovle digging. Everyone you get in THAT MENTAL SPACE you are literally just digging yourself a hole man.
Reality is,no one is going to come save you man... you are fucked being born in that situation and it is up to you to TRY to turn it around. It's likely you will fail or even tell me to fuck off after not reading anything but there is a very likely scenario that you will change your circumstances even a little . And even though you may not ever get to a point where you are happy you may get to a point where you are not in hell.
I truly wish you best of luck.
